WHISKY HUMOUR

I like this one.

Paddy had been drinking whiskey at his local pub all day and night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

The bartender, Mick says, "No more for you tonight, Paddy". Paddy replies, "Right so Mick, I'll be on my way then".

Paddy gets up from his chair and steps off falling flat on his face. He pulls himself up by the chair and dusts himself off. He takes another step towards the door and falls flat on his face again.

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.

"By the Christ.... I'm a little tipsy," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed". He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face again. He pulls himself up and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife brings him a coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"

Paddy says, "Yes, I was hammered. But how'd you know?"

"Mick phoned . . . You left your wheelchair at the pub."

I have shared this one with most of the men of the cloth, of Irish descent, that I know. Always gets a grin or two.

Morbid humor: how can one tell whether you are at an Irish wake, or an Irish wedding? One less drunkard at the former.

Disclaimer - yes, I am of Irish descent myself. And yes, my Irish family loves the golden nectar. Matter of fact, so does my non-Irish side. Lucky me :-)