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Ardbeg 1999 Galileo 12 Year Old

Ash! Peat! Oak! Glass!

0 1694

TReview by @Tinia

10th Oct 2012

0

  • Nose
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  • Taste
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  • Finish
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  • Overall
    94

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Distribution of ratings for this: brand user

On first inspection this whisky appears to be contained in some kind of a "bottle", apparently made of glass.

Not wanting to be half-arsed about writing this review, I thought I'd find out for sure, so I poured the whisky into an old tupperware container that still had the remains of last weeks mashed potato around the rim, and threw the bottle as hard as I could onto the kitchen floor.

Unfortunately it must be better quality than I thought - it rebounded back up, came within the width of a pubic hair of braining me, and then traced a looping trajectory into the lounge where it collided with my wife's King Charles Spaniel who was cleaning its balls on the sofa. Said spaniel (she calls the disagreeable little bastard Woo-woo of all things) is now at the vets with a collapsed lung and nerve damage. I told the wife it got run over.

The bottle finally shattered when it bounced through the TV, so I can confirm that it was made of glass.

I decanted the whisky slowly into a snifter, and held it up to the light.

To my eye it is the colour of 15,000 year old amber formed from the branch of an oak tree that was blown over in a mid winter hurricane in the South of France. [EDITED BY MODERATOR]

On the nose this whisky is light and fragrant, with undertones of a warm spring rain falling on freshly cut grass, [EDITED BY MODERATOR]

Upon swirling the whisky on my palette I was immediately hit by strong notes of peat, ash, and smoky burnt paper. On reflection I realised this could arguably be attributed to the fact that I have been using the snifter as an ash tray, so in the interests of writing a fair review I poured some more into a clean glass, being careful to strain the whisky through a sieve to remove the lumps of mashed potato.

This time the dram was far more satisfying - with notes of cinnamon, an open fire in a damp forest with buffalo chips for fuel, and coffee made from beans picked from the faeces of the civet cat, gathered by a 59 year old Vietnamese peasant with bad breath and acne who didn't clean the beans very well afterwards.

As the embers died down it was chewy - so chewy! and with a faint taste of copper. That was when I realised I had bitten off a piece of my own tongue while shitting my pants as the bottle rebounded back up at me earlier on.

The finish - Christmas pudding, ginger, cinnamon cloves in front of the wood burning fireplace [EDITED BY MODERATOR]

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16 comments

@SquidgyAsh
SquidgyAsh commented

Hahaha hilarious review and the name is for an Italian Astronomer :P

6 years ago 0

Tinia commented

All-in-all not a bad drop, that would be greatly improved by the addition of two fingers of coke and a handful of ice.

I don't want to fuck up this whisky's rating so I gave it a 94. Marks off for having an unpronouncable gaellic name.

6 years ago 0

Tinia commented

Thanks, I get the feeling though that all this tomfoolery is going to be brought to an end sooner or later ha ha

6 years ago 0

@SquidgyAsh
SquidgyAsh commented

I'm sure it will, however unlike most trolls (please don't take offense at the term for that is what you're coming across at this time) you're actually not being very offensive and cussing at people, etc etc.

I personally think you're getting a good laugh in an amusing way, unlike some jerks I've encountered. Mind you your reviews would scare the hell out of me if I thought they were serious and I didnt know any better :D

6 years ago 0

@systemdown
systemdown commented

Hahah 109% ABV. Awesome! I hope Woo-woo recovers from the bottle incident and that your tongue grows back to its original length. At least this whisky should have served as both pain-killer and disinfectant in that regard, so fingers crossed and I hope for a speedy recovery. You will never get that hour of your life back but at least you've managed to entertain two blokes on the other side of the ditch, if nothing else.

6 years ago 0

Tinia commented

Oh so THAT'S what a troll is?! ha ha No I am only on here cause I am really into single malt scotch, just thought I'd liven things up a bit. Everyone so far is "getting" it and not taking offence, which is good since none is intended.

6 years ago 0

Tinia commented

Yay Systemdown, and I can spell "whisky" better now too ha ha

6 years ago 0

@systemdown
systemdown commented

Excellent, you'll be one of "us" in no time (I'll leave that up to you to decide whether that's a compliment or an insult =)

6 years ago 0

Tinia commented

Ha ha cool. I actually wrote the review last night while sipping Shingleton 12 yr, which I know is fairly shit but I got it for 47 bucks in duty free on Sunday. So in other words, it wasn't me your Honour, it was the whisky! Anyway off to bed lads (it's 2.40am here!).

6 years ago 0

@SquidgyAsh
SquidgyAsh commented

Tinia my friend I'm even more thrilled to find out that you'll be joining our exalted ranks now hahaha. Like I said very entertaining reviews and I think you'll find that alot of the whisky geeks on the site are pretty bloody cool!

6 years ago 0

@Wills
Wills commented

You are really into single malt? So we will get some 'real' reviews by you? Hope that and I guess after those two it's not easy to write seriously :)

6 years ago 0

@Connosr
Connosr commented

@Tinia thanks for the colourful and irreverent review. Sometimes whisky reviews can be quite serious, so a little humour and views that poke fun at whisky are fine. That being said we prefer the content on the site to avoid anything that could be misconstrued as offensive. If you could bear that in mind for future reviews we'd be grateful. In this case we had to make some minor tweaks to keep things the right side of the line. We hope you understand.

6 years ago 0

@cclward
cclward commented

Priceless , made my day. As always a common review and score for an Ardbeg malt. Hahahaha

6 years ago 0

Tinia commented

Sorry guys, my reviews have been edited for language (no F words), anything that might be construed as racist, jokes about fatal diseases, references to domestic violence, and jokes about sexual activity. Oh no! This has severely crippled my sense of humour! ha ha

6 years ago 0

@Ol_Jas
Ol_Jas commented

I so badly want to know what the redacted parts said.

4 years ago 0

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