Another Whisky Mystery!

The last Whisky Mystery went over pretty well, so here’s another as I promised for the holidays. This one is a little more complex (and, I hope, not too convoluted) and may require a bit of Internet research if you’re not an expert in…well, you’ll have to figure out what you might need to research. I’ll post the solution the day after Christmas, or when somebody figures everything out, whichever comes first. Hope you enjoy.

Inspector Drammer tried to stifle his yawn as best he could. It was nearly 4:00 a.m. and he and three other homicide investigators had been on the crime scene for nearly three hours. “Questioning witnesses, dusting for fingerprints…is all this really necessary, Inspector?” asked Sergeant Campbeltown. “After all, it’s as cut-and-dried as a case can be. That Duff dame even admitted to shooting her husband.”

“All is not as it seems, Sergeant,” replied Drammer. “Something Lady Duff said puzzles me. Yes, those bullets in Sir Craig Duff’s body were from her gun. And, yes, she fired that gun. But something tells me there is more than one guilty party here. And that other guilty party may be the real murderer.”

The butler, Chivas, entered the room and announced drolly, “A telephone call for you, Inspector. The coroner. You may take the call here in the parlour.”

“What’s the word, Lochdu?” grumbled Drammer into the phone. “Uh-huh. I see. Ha! Just as I thought.” The Inspector slammed down the receiver and announced to the investigators, “It was cyanide poisoning, men. I suspected as much when I saw the rash on the victim’s chest. Yes, this Duff chap was already dead when his wife shot him. And in this jurisdiction, shooting a dead body is a mere misdemeanor. Mutilating a corpse is the most serious of charges we can bring against her. Provided, of course, she knew beforehand that her husband was indeed dead. And I have reason to believe she did.”

Sir Craig and Lady Fanny Duff had participated in a whisky tasting earlier that night. They and four others had gathered at the estate of Lord Halpus for the monthly meeting of the Barley Buffs, a local Scotch-lovers’ aggregation. A tension in the form of forced politeness was noticed by all on this night. Their usual friendly banter seemed terse and obligatory, as if to maintain the pretense of another friendly gathering. Although there were discrepancies in the witness’s statements, all involved agreed on this point.

“All right, let’s review what we know,” said Drammer wearily as he opened his note pad. “One by one, let’s go over what we learned from the statements and see if we can discern some inconsistency, some slip of the tongue. Maybe there’s also a clue in the whiskies tasted tonight. Oh, Chivas, would you be so kind as to brew some strong tea for us bone-tired bloodhounds?”

In his notes, Drammer had scribbled “Most frustrating!” in the margin with regards to the disappearance of all of the bottles tasted that night. All, that is, except for a few shards from the shattered bottle found beside the corpse of Sir Craig Duff. That particular bottle had been blasted beyond recognition from a bullet that may or may not have gone astray. It was determined that the blasted bottle was made of clear glass, and that the whisky from that bottle contained traces of cyanide.

Drammer’s notes contained information on each of the Barley Buffs:

Lord Halpus: The long-standing leader of the group. A somewhat stuffy and dignified gent whose occasional confusion and disorientation had become a source of humor for all. Of his whisky expertise, however, there was no doubt. He could identify hundreds of whiskies from a mere quick pass under the nose, and he could often identify them by vintage, age, batch, and region as well. Questionable sense of humor; told a stale Irish joke (“Say, Inspector, did you hear about the winner of the Irish beauty contest? Me neither! Hawf, hawf, hawf, hawf!”) during his interview. Always approves of the whisky choices for the evening, and always responsible for pouring all the drams. Was reared on whisky when blends were preferred and single malts were scarce. Provided a Johnnie Walker Swing on this night, as it reminded him of his younger days when he cruised the world on luxury liners. Adores his much-younger wife, although has reason to suspect her of infidelity.

Lady Heavyn Halpus: Wife of Lord H. Attractive and coquettish. Owns four poorly trained, very spoiled Lhasa Apsos. The dogs nipped at the ankles of the homicide team until Lady Halpus asked that Chivas provide them with some leftover liver pâté from the evening meal. Makes a great show of affection towards her husband when all are gathered, but sometimes disappears for lengthy spells with one or another of the gentlemen in the group. Always plans the menu for the evening supper (with some occasional input from the others), which tonight featured a main course of salmon sautéed in sesame-seed oil, and garnished with almonds and sun-dried tomatoes. Likes her whisky strong and sweet and offered an Aberlour A’bundha, batch #19, on this evening.

Lady Fanny Duff: Wife of the murder victim. Likes strong peated whisky and impressed everyone with her choice of Ardbeg 1977 tonight. Admits to owning a vintage Smith & Wesson revolver, and to using that gun to fire at her husband (or his corpse, as the case may be) earlier that night. Said her husband was unscrupulous, a philanderer, and deserved what he got. All testified that Lady Duff was a main source of the tension for the evening. She was obviously in a foul mood and had directed several cold, dagger-eyed stares at her husband all night. Told Inspector Drammer in a desperate whisper to “please examine everything thoroughly before jumping to seemingly obvious conclusions.”

Mr. Bill Vinny: A master carpenter and an amateur magician whose dexterity with cards and coins was often enjoyed by all. He was coerced into reluctantly performing the classic cups-and-balls illusion on this night. However, his grumpy mood, stemming from a severe toothache, contributed to the dismal atmosphere of the evening. His limited conversation with the women and the victim also appeared to be perfunctory and strained. Had an appointment with Dr. Loch earlier in the afternoon. Brought a whisky nobody had yet tried: a Port Charlotte PC 8 Ar Duthchas, which everyone enjoyed for its tingly, nutty smokiness. Said to enjoy certain intoxicants other than whisky, but usually kept such indulgences to himself. Lady Duff whispered to the Inspector that Vinny had encouraged nearly everyone to partake in “a perfectly legal little something” on this evening, however.

Dr. Mort Loch: A wealthy oral surgeon with a reputation as a ladies’ man. Examined Mr. Vinny that afternoon, but could do nothing about his toothache at the time. “Bill needs a root canal and extraction, and there just wasn’t time today,” he stated. He was able to provide some temporary relief for the pain, however. Wowed everyone tonight with a Glenfarclas 40 year old, which he carried in his paraphernalia-filled black bag. Usually enjoys the company of all the Barley Buffs, although stated that “Bill and I never hit it off that well.” Claimed to be “on the balcony, looking at the stars” when others were indulging in the “perfectly legal” substance.

Sir Craig Duff, the victim, was well-liked by most of the members of the group, although he was never particularly close to either Lord Halpus or Bill Vinny. “As manly as Sean Connery and as lovable as a puppy dog,” gushed Lady Halpus. Something of a health nut and nutritionist who enjoyed whisky as his only indulgence. Never ate supper with the rest, as he preferred to keep his palate as clean as possible before a tasting evening. Had little tolerance for Bill’s vices and too-close relationship with Lady Halpus. His whisky choice for the evening was a Bunnahabhain 25 year old, which elicited raves from all except Bill, who proclaimed it merely “not bad.” Loved to laugh and swap naughty jokes with Lady Halpus, which always aroused the ire of Lady Duff.

After reading his notes aloud, Inspector Drammer paced up and down the lounge and mumbled softly to himself. Nearly twenty minutes passed before he announced to his investigative team that they should “Examine all the intricacies of the relationships. I believe that everyone sampled the whisky with the cyanide, but nobody noticed it, and nobody was affected by it except Sir Craig. Somebody made sure of that in advance, and that somebody also thought that someone else could be framed for planting the poison. The mastermind was clearly in cahoots with Lady Duff, who agreed to take the fall for the crime—temporarily, of course—with the belief that the framed one would eventually be charged with the murder. She felt this was a small price to pay in exchange for unloading a philandering husband. With a light sentence for her misdemeanor, and thinking that the framed party would eventually be charged with the murder, she also knew that she could still claim her inheritance. I believe I have the real killer narrowed down to two candidates. All that remains is which had the stronger motive. Someone else may have played a minor role in the setup, perhaps unknowingly so…or perhaps not.”

So who administered the poison, and how so? If everyone sampled the contaminated whisky, why didn’t anyone else die or feel any ill effects? What was the “perfectly legal something” that Bill Vinny shared with all? Into which whisky did the killer slip the poison, and why was that whisky chosen? Who was the “someone else” who may have played a minor role? What evidence did the guilty party think would frame someone else?

Finally, a little something that may or may not have anything to do with the mystery. For your entertainment pleasure, the classic cups-and-balls illusion, as performed by the great Ricky Jay: www.youtube.com/watch