Howitzer Canadian Whisky
(Slightly) better than a colonoscopy...
7 775
Review by @Nozinan
- Nose~
- Taste~
- Finish~
- Balance~
- Overall75
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Distribution of ratings for this:
- Brand: Howitzer
- ABV: 40%
This review is inspired by @Talexander, who posted the first post-procedure review in 2013, which was followed by what appeared to be a “tribute review” by the member formerly known as OlJas. For your enjoyment:
connosr.com/lagavulin-16-year-old-whisky-r…
connosr.com/lagavulin-16-year-old-whisky-r…
Now a colonoscopy is not a vasectomy, I realize that, but there are some thematic similarities. The worst part of the procedure is actually drinking the approximately 4 Litres of fluid (mostly water), including 2 bottles of magnesium citrate which is nauseating. Next time I’m going for the Pico-Salax, I hear it tastes better.
The most fun part is actually watching the procedure. This was my second go, with the same surgeon (think 70s, Jeremy Corbyn’s face with a slight Irish accent), but having seen dozens I impressed him by pointing out what we were seeing. Of course, no one wants to see anything too interesting on their own scope… but I did impress myself. He said next time I might as well just do it myself!
The second hardest part of the process was picking the whisky to review. What could I choose that would be meaningful. Given the effects of the prep, I could only choose Howitzer Canadian Whisky.
I received this as a gift from a long-time friend. My wife had requested no gifts for my 50 Year celebration, and of course most people ignored her. Knowing I have a passing interest in whisky she went to the LCBO and was told that “if your friend is into whisky, he probably won’t have tried this one”. The clerk was right. But I have to say, if I were in that position, it would cross my mind that maybe, just maybe, there is a reason for that.
My original thought was to trade it in with some of the other bottles I was blessed with, but given the name and the colonoscopy, I turned a challenge into an opportunity. Plus, what if she asks me what I thought of it?
In my internet search there was precious little about this expression, even on their website. Apparently there is a “respect” for our military (25 cents for each bottle sold goes to a charity for injured veterans), and love of hockey. The late, great Hockey announcer Danny Gallivan (who made up a lot of words) used that term for exceptionally hard slap shots. No mention of Mag citrate though.
Apparently the operation is located in Durham region in Ontario. While this information was not on their own website, an article in which the owners were interviewed stated that the spirit is distilled by a “partner” (ie: not them), and they hope to have a distillery one day. No mention of the grains used, but there is a note (again, not on the label or distillery website) that it is matured for 5 years and finished in ex-bourbon barrels. 1000 cases were sold to the LCBO (Suckers!).
This expression, just opened, is reviewed in my usual manner, allowing it to settle after which I take my nosing and tasting notes, followed by the addition of a few drops of water (despite it’s 40% ABV), waiting, then nosing and tasting.
Colour: No way this is natural colour. Let’s leave it at that.
Nose: 19.5/25
Very Sweet, lots of caramel. After 10 minutes, some baking spices, a hint of apple. Not very complex. Water has no effect.
Taste: 18/25
Thin, sweet. Caramel. A little “hot” despite being low ABV. Some pepper in the development. Water makes it smoooother. (18.5/25)
Finish: 18/25
Fairly long, but minimal flavour. A little pepper and a little alcohol. Not too unpleasant but not something to seek out.
Balance: 19.5/25
Sure, the nose and the palate are similar, but so unidimentional! A bit too sweet, even for me.
Score: Neat - 75/100 With Water: 75.5/100
This is not a bad whisky, but it really has little to say for itself. It is very forgetable. It has no complexity. Sure it’s smoothish, so it can be taken neat, unlike say JW Red, or Lambertus, which ought not to be taken at all, but I’m afraid that’s not enough to get it above my “I’d sooner drink soda stream” threshold.
Available for $35 at the LCBO, that’s pretty pricy for a bottom shelfer. In contrast, Wiser’s Deluxe, which I like better, is $29.
Now, does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do with the remaining 720 cc?
Make old boys jam, you pour some booze in a large-ish Mason or flip top jar and then progressively add fruits and sugar and more booze to it to macerate and make a fruity boozy concoction which you can then use to pour on ice cream, cakes and other puddings.