New 'Toshan released

Which part of this are we supposed to be excited about? That there's a new NAS Auchentoshan made for mixing? Or that this thing that's destined to be swallowed up by "strawberry water" (of all things) has in turn swallowed up some casks that date back to the 1970s?

Apologies to @casualtorture if you were looking to share some enthusiasm with fell Connosrpudlians on this one. Maybe the right person will be along after me.

I was by no means sharing enthusiasm. I was actually giving ammo to you all. I was fully expecting the NAS hatred and right off the bat I got it. Just looking to create a little drama ;) evil laugh

@casualtorture

You mean.... www.youtube.com/watch

At least it comes in a rusty old crap-box.

Well, since @casualtorture has opened the door...

If it was "developed by bartenders, for bartenders," then why isn't it The Bartenders' Malt?

And what the hell does it mean to be "the original city Single Malt Scotch Whisky"? That's some pretty serious marketing jabberwocky—and this is coming from a guy on Ardbeg's email list.

And since when does Auchentoshan—Auchentoshan for crying out loud!—have a bold, fearless approach to whisky?!

"The Malt Order"? Barf.

I can't stand how they capitalize Single Malt, like it's some sort of Very Important Thing. Who does this copywriter think he is, A.A. Milne for crissakes?

At least they're both "marrying tradition" and "refus[ing] to be constrained by tradition." That's good.

There's a "global bartending community"? Barf.

Please explain to me how being "responsible for every element of The Bartender’s Malt" could start with cask selection? These casks just manifested themselves?

Did I mention the rusty old crap-box?

@MadSingleMalt goood, goood, let the hate flow through you.

@casualtorture The copywriter guy also needs a grammar lesson on the difference between adjectives and adverbs. "Distilled Different" should be "Distilled Differently." Or perhaps "Distilled Shittily" would be more appropriate.

"Dis Tastes Different"